deary me

it's official.

my nephew has been adopted. and i am pissed.

he's three years old. i love him. granted, my sister may not be the best candidate for motherhood, but this was a totally selfish move. instead of sticking with it and trying to do her best, she basically gave up. i know, i know; i don't know anything about being a mom or trying to take care of a child, but i do know one thing. i could NEVER do what she did, it would rip me apart. so now, i'm stuck with negative feelings towards my sister and a desperate feeling of helplessness, because my nephew is gone. what would have been nice is if i had some idea of what was to come, because i would have spent as much time as possible with him before i left again for school. gah, what to do...

the above situation has been influencing my mood lately, as much as i try to block it out. i have lots to do, such as finding a job, writing essays for scholarships, and doing classwork, but concentrating has been hard. it's like a giant, black cloud over my head all the time.

MOVING ON. the house my friends and i had been planning on moving into was foreclosed. yay. however, they went to look at another house today that will be a great replacement. i have yet to see it, but i'm sure it'll do.

auditions for LTR are fast approaching, and i'm really hoping to be cast. this whole rejection thing is getting old. mostly because i know i deserve a part, and not getting even a little one is not working for me. i'll do my bestest.

enough gabbing for today. i'll be back soon. LOVE.